A Carrie Bradshaw Kind Of Morning
WARNING: I am about to get vulnerable.
Last night I got INTO it with my boyfriend. Just as it felt like we may be getting to a resolution, we took a left turn back into conflict, got defensive and threw blame back to the other person.
At least that is what is seemed like. That’s where it gets tough. Because we both thought we were doing our best to communicate.
Meanwhile, I noticed my defensiveness and I closed off my heart. I didn’t feel safe.
Which leads me to wondering, “Is it possible to be in a relationship and stay conscious through the tough moments?”
I’m sitting with this one today. It hurts. But what I believe to be true is that our relationships serve a big purpose. They are a source of so much love that they become a space to heal deep seeded wounds.
I love the analogy of diamond mining. That two rocks are rubbed together, creating friction that scrapes off the rocky layer to uncover the diamond within.
That idea comforts me. But still leaves me in the question – I want to know from you, do you believe it’s possible to be in a relationship and stay loving even when it gets tough? Do you think there is purpose to going through the rough moments? When you are tempted to run, what keeps you in the room?
Join me in sitting for a few minutes to face any pain you’ve got going on. Seeing dark clouds surrounding you, know there is light on the other side. See yourself walking through the clouds to get to the other side with your heart wide open.
Let your mind go from there and see what happens.
This visualization, from two incredible books A Course In Miracles and The Tools is a good one to keep handy when you are tempted to get defensive or close your heart.
Knowing that these things are tough for everyone, let’s choose to be more loving even when we are afraid.
Shine bright, love big. Ryan